The idea that everything we want already exists and is available to us now is a very intriguing idea. The fact that the only thing that keeps us from fully realizing what we want is our focus or our mental and emotional preparedness, can be an intimidating thought. We might have to face some unpleasant realities with our current thinking and attitudes.
As children we develop methods to cope with unpleasant and upsetting feelings. We work hard to control our thoughts and the world around us in a way that we hope will keep us from having to face feelings and situations that we are unprepared to solve. We are surprisingly good at this but there are consequences. For every situation and feeling we avoid there is something good that we give up along with it. We don’t see that at the time. In fact, we may never get that the reason we struggle in one area of our life is directly related to a strategy we employed years ago to avoid some pain. We don’t see that every instance of avoidance, resentment, blame or hurt that we haven’t resolved translates into something today that we cannot have. It’s an emotional balance sheet.
I believe if we can see clearly that what we want is available to us and that we can, through our own resolve, bring those things that matter most into our lives, we would do it. If we don’t see that what matters most to us will ever happen or be available then it would make no sense to put ourselves through the painful process of breaking down our protective paradigms.
Because the breaking down process can be daunting it is important that we develop a strong faith that the process is worth it. The stronger we feel a positive anticipation of our future the more likely we will be willing to endure temporary discomfort. We will find new ways to deal with unpleasant or upsetting feelings. If we know it’s worth it then we will learn to manage our emotional experiences instead of trying to control them.
So how does one develop such a faith in the future? For me it came from studying my past and consequently accepting my responsibility for experiences and outcomes throughout my adult life. When I saw time after time how my attitude, choices, prejudices, blind spots and the avoidance of emotions that upset me had been the critical factor in how my life had gone I suddenly felt empowered. I felt empowered because a shift took place that moved me from seeing myself as marginally involved in what happened in my life to the critical and most influential force. My life had been following a perfectly predictable path based on my choices and reactions. Therefore I had already been determining my future, just unconsciously! That understanding gave me faith in my future and what I needed to do was simply deal with the emotions that I’d spent time trying to avoid and resolve within myself the unfairness’s that I had hung onto.
The more I’ve understood my past and its affect on me, the more empowered I’ve become in crafting my future. It didn’t take long to begin to have a great deal of faith that the future would be dreams coming true and that I was preparing myself to be able to accept them.